Dilemma: a difficult or persistent problem

What I’m about to share with you is sobering to say the least.  It troubles the best of us, feeds on itself, and does irreparable harm to our children.

We’ve all witnessed the kind of training or coaching that attempts to get a result through negative reinforcement.  You know, in a loud tone, or even yelling, “Come on Johnny, you can do better than that.”, “You’re being lazy.”, “Do it again, and you’re never going to play.”, “Do what I tell you.”

First let me say, that I’m not against being direct and forceful.  In fact I use a strategy I learned from a good friend of mine called “The Sandwich”.  It’s simple, praise, constructive criticism, then praise.  It’s a sandwich we could serve as parents, and demand from trainers and coaches, a lot more.

OK, so what’s the dilemma?  The dilemma is we as parents don’t prevent it from happening.  Think about it.  Instead of stepping in, risking our pride, and being embarrassed in front of other parents or peers, we let it happen.

We let it happen, and we know its wrong.  It can emotionally and mentally scar a child for life.  It can kill a dream.  And let me ask you, who has the right to kill a child’s dream, to destroy their will to aspire and accomplish great things.

Have you ever been singled out, embarrassed in front of a crowd?  Imagine being in front of a sideline of parents, some hostile from another team, your own teammates, under indescribable pressure, to perform and not make a mistake.  And then suddenly, a trainer or coach begins to yell and break down a child.

I want to go back to the “hostile crowd”.  I was at a game last season, watching two teams play soccer.  Both teams were very talented, the best of two clubs, battling it out on the field.  I knew many of the players on both teams.  In fact I had coached many of them on occasion or played against them.  So I knew these players and a little bit about their personalities.

One girl had been battling through a tough game, had taken some falls, cried a bit, but kept on fighting.  The ball went out on the opposing team’s sideline.  I happened to be right by the ball.  What came next I will never forget, as long as I live.

See, this match had become so competitive, so physical on the field, that parents had lost presence of their body language, the impression they were giving to this nine year old girl as she prepared to do a throw-in from their sideline was terrifying.

I wanted tell this girl, a girl I knew to have great character and determination, “It’s OK, you’re doing great.”,  “Hang in there.”, “I’m proud of you.”  But as tears rolled from her eyes she looked at the sideline and made the throw-in.  Then, she played, played through it all to win, in spectacular fashion.

I’m ashamed to say I didn’t say anything to the parents, many of which were friends.  All I do know is that I’ll never forget the pressure that little nine year old played through.  It was like I was her for a split second, and could feel the burden, the anger, the will from adults, for failure.

Why do we let it get this far.  As parents we should love all children, and hope the best for them.  We should build them up every chance we get, because I’m certain there are a lot more sidelines like that in America.

As I close, I want to ask that all of us do what’s right.  Empower children to accomplish great things.  Help them, protect them, no matter the cost.  Throw away the pride, never mind the embarrassment.  What you could end up doing might just save a dream.

Sincerely,

Kerry Niemann

We test ourselves everyday.  Directly or indirectly we see just how well we can manage ourselves and accomplish tasks.  For the youth of this great country, these tests are moments that develop their physical and mental ability.  These tests, through trial and error, defeat and success, establish character.  These tests, if approached and prepared for, can be a springboard for great accomplishment and confidence.  Its our job to help this happen, and not miss an opportunity for children to help themselves grow and become what they so desperately want to be.

For a gifted group of girls I had the honor to coach this last weekend in a soccer tournament, “The Test” became the difference between finishing strong, or not.  Playing soccer during the summer in Texas is a test in itself.  The oppressing heat, physical endurance, and mental exercise are a laundry list for some significant challenges, especially to nine year olds.  Be as it was, the opportunity came for this group to test themselves in the semi finals.  They had just lost a game to the champions, and were digging deep to find something within themselves to finish with a win, third place, and confidence within themselves to prove they could turn it around.

Most times, as coaches, these moments are what make the difference.  It is our responsibility to ensure players are focused and detemined to accomplish their goals.  So, I came up with a motivational talk I share with my daughter, a talk I call ”The Test”.  I described to these girls that tournaments and games are a lot like “test days” at school.  One example is the vocabulary test.  A set of words are given to students to study and master.  Then of course they have a test to see how well they’ve learned how to spell the words and use them in a sentence of paragraph.  Well, this group of girls aren’t ordinary by a long shot.  They work hard on the side, going to soccer camps, group sessions, or training in their backyards with either parents or fellow friends in their neighborhoods.  So, to me they study and attempt to master the fundamentals of soccer just as a student masters a set of vocabulary words.  This last game, simply put, was their TEST DAY.

Were they up for it, did they rise to the challenge, did they prove to themselves and their fellow players that they had “studied” and had come closer to meeting their individual goals?  Only one way to find out, only one way to see, one game left.  So, after this talk, the girls went on to win their last game of the tournament in a splendid fashion.  Growing as individuals and developing their character along the way, they passed their test.  I couldn’t have been any prouder.  It wasn’t the win that really mattered, what mattered was how they approached the test.  With resolve and determination, with confidence and fun.  What more could a coach ask for?

So I close this post one step closer to making a difference.  Sure it’s a lofty goal, the health of our youth, and proper development of their ability and character.  It’s one such ”test”, my test as a trainer, a coach, and parent, I can’t, and won’t fail.  Are you with me?

Sincerely,

Kerry Niemann

Hello Central Texas, and welcome to Pflugerville Youth Pfitness and Sports Conditioning. 

This day marks the beginning of, as the title states, a YOUTH FITNESS MOVEMENT.  Youth fitness has and is suffering.    Blame it on the technical revolution, diet, poor training, or bad habits…regardless, their is no denying what we see as a society, day after day.  The signs are all around us, obesity, attitude, injuries, ruined dreams, and psychological trauma.  We’ve become numb to it, and that my friends is a tragedy.  A tragedy I’ve decided to do something about, a tragedy I can’t tolerate any longer.  It starts today and is endless. 

Done correctly, youth fitness and all that it involves can be rewarding for…parents, players, coaches, trainers, and most of all the youth itself.  Youth of all ages and ability can develop in an environment that fosters a love for athletics and overall health…not just physically, but mentally as well.  Not just today, tomorrow, or a decade from now, but for the rest of their lives.  To me it is mental preparedness, and opportunity to let character shine through in so many ways.  Everyone loves a proud parent, a proud child, and good character development.

So, as this day begins, the sun shines on the youth of this country once again…because as I said, this movement has begun…so join with me to reclaim the health of this country.  Are you ready?

Stay tuned, you’re going to love where this is going.

Sincerely,

Kerry Niemann